Diary Of A Drama Queen

My family and I were surfing through channels last night and we stumbled on The Secret Life of An American Teenager. We knew Molly Ringwald was in it and it was described as being a cross between Juno and 7th Heaven. Interesting combination. I was a big fan of 7th Heaven when it first came on (the later episodes got to be a bit repetitive and they only had half of their children still on the show by the end of it) so I figured "Hey, maybe it won't suck."

I was wrong. But, to give it credit, it sucked in a way that made it hilariously funny to watch. Sadly, I'm pretty sure that wasn't its aim.

Well, if you haven't heard about it, the show is about a girl in high school who gets pregnant. That's about the only thing it has to do with Juno. The only similarity I saw with 7th Heaven was that they went to church at the end and talked about going to church in the middle. The episode we watched refrenced the previous episode A LOT!!!!! It did that so much, it wasn't until halfway through the episode that we realized sort of what was going on.

It opened with everyone watching the news and laughing at a street camera video that was found. There was a cheerleader on a street corner praying, someone walked up to her, she pulled a knife on him, and then her friend pulled up next to her without his shirt on. He hugged her and the scary guy ran away. They played this clip about 10 times throughout the whole show. Everyone said it was hilarious, but I didn't quite see the humor. Apparently, the girl was one of the characters of the story and her parents are extremely angry with her. We find out later that she was on the street corner because the boy that she wasn't supposed to be dating dumped her there so that the boy she was pretending to date could pick her up. We also find out that the boy is topless because he was having sex with a very slutty girl who wore his shirt to school the next day. The funny thing about this is that she wears it in a way that you can completely see her bra. What high school do these kids go to? I know at mine, I would get in trouble for a bit too much cleavage. I was extremely tame in comparison to this girl. Another funny thing about this was that the slutty girl saw shirtless guy with praying cheerleader and got angry, so she ripped off her shirt and walked away.

We also find out that pregnant girl's sister knows about her pregnancy. So her sister, in order to distract her parents from her sister's pregnancy, dresses extremely conservatively. Her parents freak out and think she is either having sex or becoming extremely religious. Strangely, both are equally horrifying to her parents.

So now you know the basics of why this is the worst show on television. According to Brenda Hampton (the creator), the secret to every American teenager's life is sex. Every single teenager is having sex. The only teenagers that are not having sex are the ones dating people who are pregnant with other people's baby. Parents will never know their children are having sex, this because they are either not having sex or having sex with other people. They won't even believe their children when they say "I had sex!!!!!" Their response is "No. You're perfect!" (no joke)

Another reason why this show is so incredibly funny in a way that it doesn't mean to be are the actors. Especially the pregnant girl. She has a constant look of horror on her face. Come to think of it, so do the rest of the actors. It's like the director threatens to beat them if they mess something up so they are frightened for their life.

Anyways, if you are really wanting a show to make fun of while you watch it, and you have the sudden urge to scream "What the hell are they thinking?", watch this show. In that respect, it's perfect.

I had the weirdest dream last night. I have weird dreams almost every night, but this one was extraordinarily weird. It involved people I haven't seen/spoken to in years, people I've never met, American Idol (a show that I haven't watched since season 3), and two people that I made up but I was convinced I actually knew once I woke up.

So I'm on American Idol, but it's not really American Idol. It's the same stage and the same concept, but instead of singing we perform monologues and the judges are different. One judge was some guy I don't know, one was Mr. Corin, and the other was Alice Walker. I performed my monologue and when I had finished I felt really confident. The some dude judge didn't say anything, Mr. Corin gave me really good suggestions on how to make it better, and Alice Walker ripped me to shreds. She said I shouldn't have done that monologue because I wasn't black, but only because the person who wrote it was black not because the piece had anything to do with race. She didn't find anything nice about my performance and the basis of all her criticisms was that I wasn't black and proceeded to tell me all the great actors that had performed it. Mr. Corin stood up for me by saying something (I can't remember what exactly) and I left the show. Later I was at my house and there had been a party there. Two people that I haven't seen in a year were there telling me all the stuff that I had missed and that these two guys (that I apparently know, but I don't) were there and still were. I get the transcript back from the American Idol show and I reread everything Alice Walker said about me. Then I go into my house and this guy comes out and he is completely soaked in water. He gives me a hug. I think that I know him so we talk and get along, then Mary and I have to go somewhere. We have to go to the school to cancel a class that I'm going to be taking next semester. When we get there, it isn't school. It's some place in downtown Covington. I park in a salon's parking lot and instead of going to the school I go to the salon to get a pedicure. The salon is set up like a classroom, where the women giving the pedicures are at the front, and everyone waiting is set up in front of them watching. Mary and I walk in and take a seat and wait and all the other women waiting start to talk to us. That's when I woke up....

Weird....

I'm never going to go near the lottery again. End of story.

I really don't feel like posting anything right now, but here's something for everyone to enjoy:

So I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing, and something good came of that.I was browsing on Amazon.com (because that's what Bethany's do) and I was trying to find a copy of Antigone so I could start doing research for next semester. You will never believe what I found.

I LOVE ANTIGONE KEY CHAINS! What the hell?! They aren't all that special looking, I mean anyone could make them. It's just the fact that someone makes them is what is so fricken hilarious. So I figured, if they have "I love Antigone" they have to have some more. I will show you some of them that I found.

If you have seen Reefer Madness, you know that there are some of the best similies in the whole wide world in this one musical. One of my favorite songs of simile is "Loved By Mary Jane/Lane" which was written specifically for the movie. Just listen. You will see.

My favorite is "sweet as Shirley Temple dipped in pudding".

For the next few days I am going to be SUPER busy trying to catch up on school work and making sure I don't fail Environmental Science. I have an A in everything else, which is going to help just in case I make a C in ES. Now I just have to buckle down from here on out so that I can make a B instead so I can continue on my path to awesome. Oh yeah, it's a path. Look it up....but don't really because I made it up. Right now I'm on lots of caffeine so I'm a bit jittery and I'm not making much sense. But this will make sense: I will not stop studying unless it is to do normal bodily functions or watch Dr. Horrible. Flemogloban.

Here is my schedule for the next two days:

Some of it may seem like it's in code, so I will explain.
The author names are authors whose works I need to read.
PP is powerpoint.
The rest is self explanatory.

You may know this already, BUT Lee Pace and Kristin Chenoweth were nominated for an Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series and Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series for Pushing Daisies. Here is Kristin Chenoweth reacting to being nominated. Hurray!!!!

Like I said yesterday, I was involved in the majority of the plays that we did at Eastside. While some were more fun and left me feeling like I had learned something, others made me feel like crap and like I had lost things learned. An example of that would be my last high school play: The Miracle Worker by William Gibson.

I was feeling really confident with my audition despite my arch nemesis being the director. It would be my last play at Eastside and I actually did research before the play was done so I felt that my audition was strong, I didn't have the crippling stage fright that I usually get for an audition. When the cast list was posted I figured something was up because as soon as I walked up to it, Ms. Adams darted off in another direction quickly. I went to look for my name and at first I didn't see it. I noticed that I didn't get the two parts that I really wanted, but I would be fine with that. I figured that would happen with Ms. Adams. We hate each other pretty mutually. So I looked again slowly. I was one of the off stage voices. The part of Annie had been given to someone who had barely been a part of the theatre program, the part of Kate was given to a freshman that read her lines in a way that made it obvious that she had no idea what she was reading.

I hate to be a bitch, but I was fucking pissed.

I cried for a day. Then I decided I wasn't going to cry anymore. I was going to sit back and watch the show fall apart (it did) and laugh. It hurt not to be excited about a show, but by this time Ms. Adams had worn me down so much that I couldn't stand rehearsals. I was/am never like that. I'm a geek. I love going to rehearsal. It's fun. Why was she making it a chore? I will never know.

So other people cast in the show were people who she knew were not reliable. People who would show up late to rehearsals, never learn their lines, talk back, and consistently break character. It really upset me that all the hard work that I had put into the program was not being taken into consideration.

Anyways....

Since Mary was playing Helen (the only part that was correctly cast), I had to be at every rehearsal. This gave me a front seat to watch everything fall apart (it did). However, I was given a different job. I still did my off stage voice, but I was also stage manager. The person she had given the job to never came to rehearsal (SURPRISE!!!!) and finally she gave up and was forced to ask me. Now, this was the first back stage job I had gotten since The Good Doctor and I was a bit nervous. However, I was going to do my best. I did a fairly decent job, but I did slip up a few times. Some of those slip ups including a voice activated head mike that I had no idea was voice activated....oops...

The thing about it was, everyone hated Ms. Adams and I was pretty well liked. So I could ask people to be quiet or do things without them doing their usual "you don't have any control over me" attitude. This I found funny.

Well, the show went on and while the show SUCKED it went off without a hitch technically, except for one thing. Someone forgot to take a table off the stage and it wasn't noticed by anyone until the scene had started. On my head set I was told to go fix it....Yeah....that would work well. I told them that there was nothing that I could do and that we would just have to wait until after intermission to fix it. When intermission came, I was met backstage with a bitch fit from the lighting girl. She was like: Ms. Adams is so mad at you for that table right now.

First off: It wasn't that big of a deal. No one noticed it. Not even the people on stage.
Second: How the hell was I supposed to fix it when they had already started the scene? It wasn't like my completely black attire made me invisible. It wasn't like I had any assistant stage managers to help me with people who were on the other side of the stage.

So I told her: It wasn't that big of a deal and once we noticed it there was nothing we could do.

Trying to avoid conflict I walked off. Friends who were around "the informer" when I left told me later that she bitched about how I wasn't doing my job....Oh bull shit.

I really didn't like her....I could say some things about her (and I really, really could), but I will take the high road. This post is Anti-Ms. Adams...who has no redeeming qualities.

Story that peeves me the most:

The guy that played the brother got busted for having a box cutter on his person at school. He was turned in for having drugs, but they didn't find any on him. Not going to lie, I was really suprised that they didn't find any. He was a known drug dealer. So we had to replace him. Instead of picking someone who had already committed lots of time to the play and had a part that could easily be replaced by someone else, she pulled in someone who originally couldn't do the play and still really couldn't do the play because of time constraints. So of course he missed a lot of rehearsals, but when I suggested pulling someone else who didn't have that problem, she immediately blew up and said: No. No. No. No. No. I know what you're saying, but no.

Hey...she asked me. I told her what the best plan of action was....she ignored me.....Her loss.

Only it really wasn't. It was everyone's loss because we were all a part of it. She let personal grudges get in her way of putting on a good show and that was her biggest vice. She had a lot of vices, but that was her biggest (second biggest was that she had the intelligence and personality of an old boot).

That's my rant. Have a nice day!

In high school I was involved in the majority of the productions. However, there are a few that stand out more so than the others. For example: my very first show, The Good Doctor by Neil Simon.

I wasn't an actor because I was petrified of being on stage. I didn't know how I would react to being on stage and I wasn't sure if I would be any good. So I was a grip and part of publicity. It was a great learning experience because I got to see how a show worked and came together without extreme stresses (I didn't have any responsibilities in publicity). I was able to see how an actor should behave as opposed to how an actor shouldn't behave as well as what to do when something went extremely wrong (as things tend to do).

Another reason why it was a great experience was because this was one of the few times in Eastside history when the cast was a family. There was no one who thought they were better than anyone because they were older or had better parts and everyone felt like they could really trust their director. It seems like even now there is a great divide between actors and crew when I do shows, but that was a time when we all got along, we all hung out, and it was a fantastic way to make new friends at a new school. Now I may sound like I'm exaggerating, but there were no problems between fellow cast mates. EVERYONE got along the majority of the time and I left that play with some great new friends that have lasted for many years.

This was actually the only play we performed that year. We were scheduled to do I Remember Mamma but people just did not seem as dedicated to this play as there needed to be. Plus Niki (or as I called her then "Ms. Griffin") seriously hurt her back and wasn't able to do the things she had to do for the show, especially since the cast and crew weren't doing anything. So no one remembered I Remember Mamma and no one would ever remember Uncle Kris (inside joke).

Here are some funny stories surrounding the show:

The Narrator was played by Waites, a senior. Waites was a very funny and very animated person. He's one of those people that make you feel like you've known him for years after you've known him for a full five minutes. Being the newbie, I had very few people that I knew. Being shy, I had a difficult time throwing myself out there to be friendly. He made it easier and later became the older brother I never had. So one day we're waiting to start rehearsal in our classroom and everyone has had a long and stressful day so all the girls decide to lean up against Waites on the floor and take a nap. It is around this time that another guy (whose name escapes me) decides to come ask Niki a question. He notices the flock of girls laying on top of Waites and looks very confused. Waites just smiles and says "You should have been in theatre. One boy for ten girls!"

Our sets were not the best quality. To put it nicely they were just plain shitty. Some were made of Styrofoam, some were made of wood, and none of them could stand up on their own. For "A Defenseless Creature" a door had to be slammed. This was not good news for our set. If that door slammed it would fall, which would cause the rest of the flats to fall. So how did we solve this dilemma? All of the people that were back stage during this scene had to stand behind a flat and hold it. No joke. We even had to name our flats. I named mine Vivien Leigh. One actor had an incredibly difficult time keeping a straight face when he walked in through the door because of the two girls clinging to the flat for dear life standing right next to him.
As a joke for the end of the year drama club party, we had an awards banquette and one of the categories was for "Ninja Grip." Everyone that was nominated won. I still have my certificate.

To warm up, we would always play Freeze. If you're unfamiliar with this game, I will explain. Two people improvise a scene. At any time during that scene, an audience member can shout "freeze". That person then has to go up on stage and take the place of one of the actors and create a completely different scene. One of the favorite reoccurring scenes was between Waites and Steffen Hoosen. Whenever Hoosen was up, Waites would call freeze and take the other person's place. He would then begin to light saber fight with him. Now this is funny, because Hoosen is a Quaker and anti-violent so he was always really nervous about fighting his friend, even if it was pretend. This happened at every rehearsal and every drama club meeting.
As another joke, for the end of the year drama club party, during the awards banquette there was a "Light Saber Champion" category. This winner was chosen by having a massive light saber fight using...."real" light sabers (you know those plastic ones you get at Wal-Mart). Well, Hoosen gave up pretty quickly, but there were still two other guys. I can't remember who won, but I do remember it being hilarious.

It was opening night and Niki was pretty nervous simply because it was going to be her first play at Eastside. She told everyone the basics and was trying to calm their nerves as well as her own. At the end of her speech she said, "Now if anything goes wrong....do your hands like this!" and she made a butterfly with her hands. We all got very excited and she had to calm us down with "If I see anyone doing that you will not be involved in tomorrow night's show." We then tried to devise a way for us to be able to do this without getting in trouble. On the last show we decide that during curtain call, before we take our final bow, we would make the symbol and then do our bow. It became an inside joke during the Niki Griffin rein at Eastside and whenever we were in class and something was going wrong, at least one or two people would do that with their hands.
It seems that even today I do that whenever there is trouble backstage. Sadly, no one understands what I'm doing anymore. *tear*

Stay tuned for tomorrow when I will tell you my last and worst high school play experience.

Well I'm cheery now so I figured I would post a happier post to let everyone know that I am not a Solemn Suzy. I'm Bouncy Bethany. I don't actually remember why I got on a Juno website, but I did. I found this awesome widget and now I am posting it. Soon I will watch Juno and all will be right with the world. Hurray!

Oh, but I was listening to the commentary for Juno (because that's what Bethany's do) and Diablo Cody and Jason Reitman pointed something out that I had never noticed before.

The majority of the ads for Juno featured Ellen Page orange and white striped shirt with a background that matched. It's on the posters, widgets, soundtrack, dvd, EVERYTHING was orange and white stripes. However, if you look in the movie....the shirt isn't orange at all. It's brown and white. I wonder why they chose to do that...

Diablo Cody also pointed out something that I thought was hilarious. She said that she was watching Arrested Development (because that's what Diablo's do) and noticed that George-Michael's room was very immature compared to his actual age. Then she thought about his bedroom in Juno and realized that it is also very immature compared to his actual age. Poor Michael Cera.